The First Month

The first month of dating someone brings a wide array of emotions. You feel excited and scared. Happy and sad. Confident and unsure. What's wrong with you? No, it's not menopause or bipolar. It's that first month. The month where you want to spend any every waking moment with that special someone, but you know that's not healthy. You are still feeling each other out and while things are generally 95% great, there's maybe 5% that makes you ask yourself if what you are doing is right.

You have had lots of dates and expectations are growing. The dates have gone really well and you are surprised, pleasantly. You may actually feel aggravated that things are going well because now you have to start really invest your thought into your budding relationship. You need to decide if you are going to take it to the next step or whether last night's wonderful bliss and optimism has changed after the sun came up.

Of course, you feel great! You have someone that wants you, they're attractive and you realize that someone really likes you who you are attracted to. However, there's still a part of you that may be thinking you got it all wrong and that you are mistaken. Each subsequent date is a test because you will be getting to know each other more thoroughly and testing each other in verbal interplay and emotional content in your conversation. You're looking at their character and your quick wit will be tested as well as just about every other part of the subject's character. At this point, the big 'S' word comes up. Yep, sex.

If you really like this person, the tug-o-war begins. Will you lose them before anything has even got going? Are you rushing to judgement and jumping off the cliff too soon? This is where things can go horribly wrong if you're not careful. You can quickly come across as overbearing and possessive, even though you technically aren't in a relationship yet. So what to do? Step back and be cool. Stick with the routine. Take your time and stop panicking. If you are going to go out, then you will but don't rush it.

This is especially important if you not sure about the pending intimacy. So again, take your time and be cool. The roller coaster of emotions in the first few weeks of dating someone can possibly taint your vision. You enjoy each other and there's that tickle in the back of your brain about sleeping with them. Part of the lure is the anticipation. In a long term relationship, these first few weeks are difficult to recapture. That 'Puppy Love' Syndrome. So be sure to take in the moments for all they are worth. A new relationship doesn't have to lead to marriage and commitment so stop thinking too much and simply enjoy yourselves.

Many questions surround the first month: The first kiss, where you should go on your next date; Should you call them; what happens if they didn't call when expected; all this will drive you crazy and you may being to wonder if things are over already. You ask yourself what happens if you want to sleep with them or what happens as you become more emotionally involved. Once again it is about trying to keep the basics at hand. Your entire day is probably being spent thinking about all these things. The important thing to keep up with your daily routine as this will give you the structure you need and keeps you grounded. Try and sustain your daily regime, including clubs, hobbies and trips to the gym. On the other hand, one of the great aspects of this first month is the breaking of that regime to find small intense emotional moments with that special someone. No wonder people go mad.

So when does it stop being dating and becomes relationship? Keep in mind the first few weeks are crucial in creating a basic foundation on which you can both develop into a relationships. You will have progressed from first date to hopefully a more regular schedule. You may have even stopped counting the dates by now. If you are wanting a serious relationship to develop, you should have been dating plenty of times and be getting to know the 'true' person.

Where dating is slow then there is a danger it will never actually get off the ground. So make the most of the dating opportunities presented to you. When you really like someone, you want to be with them, you want to spend all your time with them to get to know them and understand them and learn to fall in love with them. In order for this to happen, you have to see them regularly to build up that level of intimacy - otherwise you may be wasting your time.

In a nutshell, the first month are critical as it is time spent in the lab, getting to know each other. If you get through this initial period you have a chance of building into a relationship. In my opinion it is too soon for sex if you are looking to build a serious relationship, but too long for just dinner and a move. It is the perfect time to know whether you are compatible beyond the initial physical attraction. A month of dating should be full of great times and memories. If in that period things aren't working out, then you can walk away with no harm done.

Again, if this turns into a solid relationship, enjoy yourself! These feelings of flutter and excitement will be hard to maintain as you grow into a life together.

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